What a difference a President makes!

Whoa! The Big Whizzy has been spinning around so fast that we forgot to post for a couple of years!

So let's see what's going on...holy crap! Bush ain't preznit no more, no more! Some guy named Obama is President?!?! Who's he? A Democrat (good)...from Illinois (better)...a community organizer (does he sell moonshine?)...Black?! Did I wake up in bizarro world? When did Mericans start voting for black democrats?

And he passed Health Care Reform! Health coverage for all you say?! Whoa. You are mandated to buy it from insurance companies and not the gub'mint? Well, Republican'ts should like that.

Wait. What? They don't? They want to repeal the whole thing? And replace it! Replace it with what? Single payer? No... then what? Oh, they haven't really said. Doesn't surprise me.

Well, I say let's leave it as is and see what happens. I need to go to the doc anyways, I'm kinda dizzy from all the spinnin'!!

Big Whizzy Exclusive: John McCain Eats Babies!!

There have been rumors circulating in certain circles for awhile now. Some have said that John McCain has an appetite for (shudder) babies. I didn't want to believe it, but the rumors have grown louder in recent days.

Some have said that the reason you don't see John McCain kissing babies on the campaign trail is because he cannot control his desire to eat babies and if his mouth gets too close, he cannot stop himself. Others have speculated that the reason he chose Sarah Palin as his running mate has less to do with her being a woman as it does with the fact that she has a baby (in addition, her daughter's recently disclosed pregnancy is seen by McCain as an added bonus).

Now some will dismiss this talk as pure speculation, others will say it's a vicious attack intended to smear the candidate. First, let me say that I believe John McCain has served our country admirably and with honor. Even though he is responsible for the destruction of 5 US navy planes, his experience as a P.O.W. recuses him from anyone making attacks against his poor judgement.

Secondly, he cannot help that while a P.O.W., his captors tortured him (Bush's definition of torture not withstanding), forced him to eat babies, and sign a confession against the U.S. government. Unfortunately for Sen. McCain, he has not been able to shake those awful memories and the taste of succulent baby.

As I said, while people have been making these accusations for years, only recently have people from inside the GOP circle been leaking more and more information.

For example, this video from Bush supporters back in 2000 tries to distance the President from McCain by showing that McCain tries to keep his hunger under control by NOT kissing babies. Sadly, they use the video to taunt McCain into kissing the baby in an effort to show him as a baby eater.

Other Bush supporters have quietly been saying that the reason McCain is so adamantly behind the Right to Life movement has little to do with his religious beliefs and more to do with his gluttony for baby. I, for one, don't believe they should be questioning the candidates religious beliefs.

Earlier this year, the candidate himself goofed up during one of his first public speeches and let it slip that he thinks about boiling babies even while talking to the press. A source has posted this video found in one of McCain's seven homes that really drives the point, um, home.

Apparently, there is now an ad on the air from a concerned mother asking John McCain not to eat her baby. It's hard to believe it has come to this.

Finally, in the documentary "There's Something Strange About John", a final ascertation about McCain's motive for eating babies is revealed. This may finally shed light on the reason McCain is willing to stay in Iraq for 100 years.

How can we trust John McCain as President, when we can't even trust him around babies?

This has been a Big Whizzy exclusive.

Whizzy Telecom Immunity

So it looks like the W admin will get immunity for the telecoms on tapping Americans' phones. Maybe the telecoms should be given a pass for allowing the government to listen in indiscriminately. But if we give them a pass, then the President gets a pass too.... doesn't seem right. The "if the Pres says its legal, it's legal" defense is a very slippery slope.
And they should remember that come November when Obama is elected.

Big ThanksWhizzy

Whew, the First Turkey was pardoned the other day. Well, actually, Second Turkey would be more accurate, since Scooter already received his pardon. Will Fearless Leader or the Puppet Master one day receive a pardon? Time will tell.

Happy Gobble Day!

W and the Big Whizzy

This one is for all the Bluenecks out there who are looking for another decal for their pick-up Volvo. Many thanks to Red State Values for the image!